As I grew older the aids crisis came into full swing and I used that as an excuse to not act on my feelings. I drank at gay bars instead.
Finally I decided enough was enough and I put out the word that I wanted to meet someone, I told friends, and i put an ad in the Village Voice. This is 18 1/2 years ago, the whole ad scene has changed what with all the sex adds and Internet dating that now is available. In my day (old-timer that I am) there was one place for nice people to meet nice people and if you were gay it was easier in the Village Voice vs. New York Magazine. I had heard success stories so I thought I would give it a go and 6 months later after 24 interviews (different dates), Peter got the job! I suppose more details about that whole process deserve a whole other blog but I will tell you one story, we made out on the second date and after he left (it was a very innocent make-out session) I called my BFF, Pam, and told her I was seeing stars. What did I know, I had very little experience! She quickly brought me down to earth and explained that it was a lack of oxygen. Thanks a lot!
Peter and my relationship moved quickly , there is a joke about lesbians, what do they bring to a second date and the answer is a U-Haul. We are simple guys and we knew we were meant for each other (OK, now I have doubts about that daily but its been almost 18 years, I can't give up the ship!) and he moved in after 4 months of dating. In case you couldn't tell from the main part of my blog, it is all about economics, he was staying over 4 nights a week since week 3 of dating so I thought it was time to get 1/2 the rent! Peter's story about our early dating is in regards to Date #1, after breakfast I took him shopping for coffee - he said he should have known then that if I went shopping as part of a first date that I was a shopaholic - alas, he was too infatuated with my chubbiness to see anything else!
SO here's the point of the story - Week 2 of our dating we were walking around SOHO and happened into a toy store. Peter stated that the saddest thing to him about being gay was that he couldn't have kids. Penniless as I was I told him I fully intended to adopt a baby and become a dad.
For me, my baby brother become a father at the age of 23 and I figured if he could do it anyone could ( and he does a great job of it, my little brother!) I traveled far and wide to see my first nephew and I fell in love at first sight, after all those years of imagining parenthood, it really was what I wanted. When Peter heard that being a parent was no longer impossible it just further cemented our relationship and gave us a long-term goal. It brightened his world and it helped me as I did not have to think about doing it alone (as a single penniless person!).
And so the long journey began,.